When The Going Gets Tough

Day#107

I’ve been in South Africa for 4 days now, which for some reason seems like an eternity ago. Sadly, I haven’t written a post in almost two weeks. I made a pact that I was going to write at least one entry a day, and here I am two weeks later not having written a word. I spent my last days in the US hanging out with my girlfriends and just spending time with family and doing last minute packing.

I have been contemplating my voyage to South Africa for a while now I just needed to man up, buy the ticket and leave. I bought my plane ticket exactly a week ago (last Sunday) and left two days later (Tuesday). Life in the US was beginning to take its toll on me. I felt so trapped and alone. I am not one to be home, jobless and without a life really. All that for me a combo for disaster emotionally and psychologically.

What now? To be quite honest, I’m not sure of what’s to come, everything is all up in the air. All I know is that it feels damn good to be home where everything feels familiar. I left South Africa 8 years ago and I haven’t been home since, except for a quick stop last year. This time around, I feel like I’m ready for home. Ready for home? Allow me to explain.

I lost my mom, a single mom at age 9 ishh, which resulted in me being moved to a total of 8 foster homes. I haven’t had closure since, that’s almost 20 years ago by the way. That, in simplest of terms means I don’t know anything about my life except what’s in my “foster child” folder. My mom having been an illegal immigrant in South Africa doesn’t make the process of finding her family easy. So yes, I’m on a journey this time around. I’m taking a trip down memory lane in hopes of finding my mom’s family in Lesotho. I grew up without any blood relatives, because my mom was the only person from her family who left her hometown for South Africa, where she had her neighbors as family.

I feel like I’m rambling but I wanted to explain my absence and my “future” plans. I’m planning to vlog my whole experience, so for those who are interested, you can watch my journey on my YouTube channel at Thabiejoy https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgMOdh2Jl8u2Rsyi6UmA7Cw

Thanks again for stopping by. Many blessings to you and Happy Easter.

Praying for closure, peace and comfort for myself and for you as well.

With Love,

~Thabie Joy~

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